What's Up With That? #60: What part of a non-chicken is a Chicken-Free Nugget?
I spotted this product in a supermarket yesterday...
Chicken-Free Nuggets.
Now, that's just wrong.
Plain old chicken nuggets (we'll leave the "Mc" out of the discussion, lest we cloud our minds with anticorporate prejudice) are terrifying enough. Who knows what the devil they're putting in those things? It's my suspicion that they're made of ground-up chicken heads, held together with the gelatinous renderings of boiled chicken feet. (I couldn't prove it in a court of law. I'm just telling you what I think.)
But chicken-FREE nuggets?
I don't even care to contemplate what might be in these.
Perhaps one of my militant vegetarian readers can explain this to me. Why does this product even exist? If you're of a mind that it's wrong to slaughter innocent animals for human consumption, why would you wish to pretend to be engaged in that very activity? After all, no one goes to the frozen foods section hunting for: "Faux Human Nuggets: Like cannibalism, only without the life sentence."
And just look at the list of supposed ingredients:
Me, I'll stick to my local megamart's boneless, skinless chicken breasts. At least I know those were sliced from the carcass of a real, once-live gallus domesticus.
I mean...
I think they were.
Chicken-Free Nuggets.
Now, that's just wrong.
Plain old chicken nuggets (we'll leave the "Mc" out of the discussion, lest we cloud our minds with anticorporate prejudice) are terrifying enough. Who knows what the devil they're putting in those things? It's my suspicion that they're made of ground-up chicken heads, held together with the gelatinous renderings of boiled chicken feet. (I couldn't prove it in a court of law. I'm just telling you what I think.)
But chicken-FREE nuggets?
I don't even care to contemplate what might be in these.
Perhaps one of my militant vegetarian readers can explain this to me. Why does this product even exist? If you're of a mind that it's wrong to slaughter innocent animals for human consumption, why would you wish to pretend to be engaged in that very activity? After all, no one goes to the frozen foods section hunting for: "Faux Human Nuggets: Like cannibalism, only without the life sentence."
And just look at the list of supposed ingredients:
Hydrated textured soy protein concentrate, soy protein isolate. Contains less than 2% of: rice starch, salt, toasted onion powder, flavorings, spices, maltodextrin, dehydrated celery, sea salt, garlic powder, carrageenan, natural spice oils, spice extracts.Can anyone honestly believe that unnatural amalgamation is somehow healthier for you to eat than good old poultry, fried fresh on the drumstick?
Me, I'll stick to my local megamart's boneless, skinless chicken breasts. At least I know those were sliced from the carcass of a real, once-live gallus domesticus.
I mean...
I think they were.
Labels: Aimless Riffing, Food Glorious Food, Taking Umbrage, Whats Up With That
SwanShadow was randomly pounding the keyboard at 1:03 PM
3 insisted on sticking two cents in:
Wow. No freakin' way I put that in my mouth.
Scott: I'm with you there, my friend. There are some doors man was never meant to open.
they are made of tofu jackass. they are not called "chicken-free chicken nuggets" if they were your slander would make sense. but to this random web surfer you just look like an idiot.
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