Wednesday, June 13, 2007

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Back in 1990 — when we were still wrestling with the consequences of having one President named George Bush — Dudley Moore starred in a pretty funny comedy called Crazy People. Moore played an ad executive who suffers a breakdown and, while institutionalized, resurrects his career on Madison Avenue using outrageously blunt campaigns dreamed up by his fellow mental patients. (Example: "Metamucil: It helps you go to the toilet so you don't get cancer and die.")

I don't know what made me think of it, but last night as I was driving the 95 miles home from chorus rehearsal, I recalled this movie and decided that the time had come to revisit its concept. There are any number of companies who today could benefit from a dose of Crazy People-style promotion. Besides, insanity more or less summarizes my entire career to date as an advertising copywriter.

The product of my noodling thus far:
  • Denny's: At three a.m., nothing else is open.

  • Taco Bell: You can't handle real Mexican food.

  • Microsoft: There are still a few dollars that Bill Gates doesn't have.

  • Kellogg's: Creating hyperactive sugar addicts since 1906.

  • Wal-Mart: When you leave the trailer park, you have to go somewhere.

  • Costco: If one is good, twelve are better.

  • MasterCard: Because you're our slave, that's why.

  • Apple Computer: Revenge of the Nerds was nonfiction.

  • Spam: 1.2 million Hawaiians can't be wrong.

  • 7-11: Thank you for not shooting the clerk.

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3 insisted on sticking two cents in:

Blogger Scott Roche offered these pearls of wisdom...


My feeble attempt.

Starbucks - At three bucks a pop it must be good, right?

Burger King - Have it your way as long as it involves bypass surgery.

7:25 AM  
Blogger SwanShadow offered these pearls of wisdom...

Scott: Funny that you should put those two together.

Here in our area, several Burger King outlets have shut down within the past few months. (I don't know whether the whole company is having difficulties, or just the local franchisee.) One of the ex-BK locations reopened just recently as -- you guessed it -- a Starbucks.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Scott Roche offered these pearls of wisdom...

Okay, that's a little creepy. ;-)

Of course SB is bent on world domination, so anything that closes is likely to open as a SB down the road. Either that or a Wal Mart.

6:23 AM  

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