Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Too many candles

In case you were thinking that my birth on this date in 1961 was the most important event ever to occur on December 19...

...you'd be correct.

At least from my perspective.

Because, for me, if I'm never born, the entirety of human existence on Planet Earth doesn't amount to a bucket of warm spit. Sucks for you, I know. But there it is.

Secondary to that auspicious occasion, however, it's interesting to note that some other stuff also happened on this date in history. A few choice examples:
  • December 19, 1606: The first colonial ships leave England for what would become Jamestown, Virginia. No wonder I never get a birthday card from any of my Native American friends.

  • December 19, 1776: Thomas Paine publishes his essay American Crisis, featuring the soon-to-be-famous line, "These are the times that try men's souls." Apparently, Paine's assessment of my life was only a couple of centuries premature.

  • December 19, 1777: General George Washington sets up camp at Valley Forge. My advice, George? Bring plenty of long underwear.

  • December 19, 1843: Charles Dickens publishes A Christmas Carol. Bah, humbug.

  • December 19, 1915: German psychiatrist Alois Alzheimer dies. At least I think he does. I forget. What was I talking about?

  • December 19, 1916: The French win the Battle of Verdun. It would mark the last time the French would win at anything, ever. Or even put up a decent fight, for that matter.

  • December 19, 1963: Actress Jennifer Beals, the star of Flashdance, is born. What a feeling. Jennifer: Call me. We'll do birthday lunch. Wear that sweatshirt — you know the one.

  • December 19, 1967: Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt, having gone missing while ocean swimming two days earlier, is presumed dead. Just between you and me, I think a stingray got him.

  • December 19, 1969: Actress Kristy Swanson, the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer, is born. Kristy: Call me. We'll do birthday dinner. I'll bring the garlic.

  • December 19, 1972: The crew of Apollo 17 — Eugene Cernan, Ronald Evans, and Harrison "Jack" Schmitt — returns home safely from the moon. If you'd told me then that no human being would go to the moon within the next 34 years, I'd have said, "You don't know Jack Schmitt."

  • December 19, 1974: Nelson Rockefeller becomes the 41st Vice President of the United States, proving once again that money can't buy love or happiness, but it does a darned fine job of nailing down political offices.

  • December 19, 1984: The United Kingdom formally agrees to return Hong Kong to the Chinese, effective in 1997. In exchange, China agrees to return rampant colonialism and inedible cuisine to the British, effective immediately.

  • December 19, 1997: The movie Titanic is released. I should probably be offended by that. (See, Donna? We do have something in common.)

  • December 19, 1998: Articles of impeachment are filed against President Bill Clinton by the U.S. House of Representatives, even though he did not have sexual relations with... well, yeah, he did.

  • December 19, 2006: I guess that's up to us, isn't it?

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4 insisted on sticking two cents in:

Blogger Mr. Fabulous offered these pearls of wisdom...

This is excellent news. It means that I have found a blogger that is older than I am, if only by a few months.

Happy birthday, fossil boy!

11:19 AM  
Blogger SwanShadow offered these pearls of wisdom...

Thanks, Mr. Fab.

I don't mind being a fossil as long as I can still petrify, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Donna offered these pearls of wisdom...

Thanks for dropping my name, Uncle Swan. We have much more in common than you're letting on here. BTW, you left out December 19, 1978: Yours truly bakes a birthday cake for you, conspires with your mother and shows up unannounced with cohorts "Cro" and "Marlo". You may not recall this, but I assure you I have the Kodak moment and negative to prove it! Let's just say you were surprised! We're coming up on a 30th anniversary next year--can't get much better than that! And, I'm not that far behind you in the candles game--just a mere 1/3 year! Thanks for being born!

4:40 PM  
Blogger Sam offered these pearls of wisdom...

I'm sorry I'm late to wish you a Happy Birthday, S.S., but I've ben busy with holiday stuff. Besides, you should be cleaning up with all presents you'lll get for your B-day and Christmas. I so envy you right now. Happy Everything, friend.

7:56 PM  

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