Too much information

In our instant information age, I sometimes wonder whether we are not indeed privy to entirely too much scuttlebutt about our celebrity contingent.

For example, I could have lived quite peacefully for several more decades without knowing that...

• Don Johnson is dating a 19-year-old Italian porn star. (Apparently, Don's last name was well-earned.)
  
  
• Daniel Radcliffe, better known to the filmgoing world as boy wizard Harry Potter, is going to perform a live nude scene in a play in London's West End. (No pun intended.)
  
  
• Christina Aguilera once relieved herself in a bucket while nude in a roomful of strangers during a concert performance... and bragged about it to Blender Magazine. (I once vomited in a bucket while listening to Christina Aguilera. Coincidence?)
  
  
• Guns 'n' Roses frontman Axl Rose once told the very same Christina Aguilera that she is "one of the greatest vocalists of our time." (I hope Christina wasn't tinkling in a bucket as Axl said that.)
  
  
• Elizabeth Taylor is getting married for the ninth time at age 74. (Prediction: It won't last. You heard it here first.)
  
  
• A couple of no-life losers — make that alleged no-life losers — are stalking Hilary Duff. (Perhaps the stalkerazzi are hoping to catch the Duffster in the act of displaying some actual talent.)
  
  
• Ahmet Zappa is dyslexic. (To his surprise, his real name is Thema Pazpa.)
  
  
• Justin Timberlake can't make love with music playing because he gets distracted by the chords. (I understand that shiny objects cause Justin similar difficulties.)
  
  
• In related news, hip-hop star Timbaland says his and Justin Timberlake's new record "SexyBack" can make straight men think they're gay... not that there's anything wrong with that. (Note to Santa: Scratch that Justin Timberlake CD off my Christmas list.)