Monday, June 27, 2005


Shaquille O'Neal, MBA.

Congrats to Shaq Diesel for completing his master's studies via the University of Phoenix (I believe the elusive phrase you're searching for is "degree mill").

Now the proud holder of a master's in business administration, Shaq is now eminently qualified to compose complex financial strategies — none of which, one hopes, will involve signing contracts to "act" (and I'm using that word accommodatively) in more wretched feature films like Kazaam and Steel.

Shaq says he intends to pursue another postgraduate degree, this time in criminal justice, with a view toward becoming a sheriff or police chief when his basketball-playing days are ended. Sounds to me like a slam dunk for felons everywhere.

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