Tuesday, September 16, 2008

One question

Have you ever said to yourself, "If only I could ask [insert name of noteworthy individual here] one question..."?

So have I. (I mean, I've said it to myself. Not to yourself. Clear? Moving on...)

A few of my burning queries follow.
  • To Larry King: Marriage — any advice?

  • To Mel Gibson: Did you skip all of the pages in the Bible that mention that Jesus was a Jew?

  • To Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis: How far will you need to run your legacy into the sewer before you destroy it forever?

  • To Shia LaBeouf: Why not Target?

  • To Tom Cruise: You do know that L. Ron Hubbard was just a hack genre writer trying to hustle a buck, and not, like, some kind of spiritual visionary... don't you?

  • To Jerry Seinfeld: Can you tell a joke that might actually make me laugh?

  • To Eddie Izzard: Cake, or death?

  • To Ellen Degeneres: Did you really think anyone was surprised when you came out? (Because, Mr. Wrong? So not convincing.)

  • To Lance Bass and Neil Patrick Harris: Any thoughts on the question I just asked Ellen?

  • To Eddie Murphy: Who are you, and what did you do with the guy who was in 48HRS and the original Beverly Hills Cop?

  • To Donald Trump: Seriously... what's up with the hair?

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