Thursday, November 10, 2005

Sometimes, I wonder

Because I possess one of the most mercurial minds on the planet — at least, that's what it says in the header, and since that's my story, I'm sticking to it — random questions without answers often pass through my brain on their way to Rhetoricaland.

A few paused long enough for me to jot them down:
  • Can you inject Botox into your butox?

  • Wouldn't King of Queens be a lot more fun if the show were performed in drag?

  • Speaking of drag, how can they expect men to race when they're wearing stiletto-heeled pumps? Won't they turn an ankle?

  • How does Victoria expect to keep anything secret when she's standing in the window at the mall practically buck-naked?

  • Why is Conan O'Brien a pale, skinny, red-haired comedian, and not a burly, swarthy, sword-swinging barbarian?

  • Why are most people named White black, and most people named Black white?

  • Why didn't O.J. kill Jessica Simpson? I mean... assuming he killed anybody. (Hey, I don't want him and his Bruno Maglis showing up on my doorstep with a machete.)

  • Speaking of O.J., wouldn't Bruce Lee have totally kicked Kato Kaelin's narrow behind for stealing his character's name?

  • Why are all the members of Destiny's Child adults?

  • If the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup, why is the line always so long at Starbucks?

  • In those group shots on Justice League Unlimited, why isn't the Flash always way out in front of everyone else? If he's the Fastest Man Alive, how come Batman can keep up with him?

  • Can blue men sing the whites?

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