Saturday, April 23, 2005

A clear solution to every problem

The wizards at the 3M Corporation have saved the universe yet again. They have invented transparent duct tape.

And there was much rejoicing.

Is there a reason we haven't turned 3M loose on cancer, AIDS, and affordable health care? After Post-it® Notes, Command™ adhesives (the stuff that allows you to stick objects to your wall, then remove them again without leaving a mark), and transparent duct tape, I'm convinced they can invent pretty much anything.

The concept of clear duct tape takes me back to those thrilling days of yesteryear — the early 1990s, to be precise — when corporate America went on this insane jag of introducing clear products into the marketplace. Remember Zima malt beverage? Miller Clear Beer? Crystal Pepsi and Tab Clear? My favorite was Crystal Clear motor oil — like you ever actually look at motor oil.

Saturday Night Live pounded the last nail in the clear-products coffin with a hilarious mock commercial for "Crystal Gravy" (it looked suspiciously like Karo corn syrup — which, if it isn't already a major food group, ought to be).

But clear duct tape? That's da bomb, yo.

1 insisted on sticking two cents in:

Blogger Joel offered these pearls of wisdom...

Clear duct tape? Huh.

7:30 AM  

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