Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Funny old world

Yes, now that you mention it, it does strike me as bizarre that we live at a moment in history when:
  • Bill Gates becomes a Knight Commander of the British Empire. I thought "Knight Commander" was a video game. Apparently, it's a Microsoft product.

  • The headline on one of the biggest news stories of the day contains the phrase "crack whore." And doesn't even mention Courtney Love or Whitney Houston.

  • A stripper is selling her size 69HH breast implants on eBay. That's bigger than Shaquille O'Neal's shoe, for crying out loud.

  • Kobe Bryant buys off the woman who accused him of rape, and his attorney manages to say with a straight face that the matter has been resolved "to the satisfaction of both parties." I'm thinking there had to be a better way of putting that.

  • New CIA chief Porter Goss complains, "The jobs I'm being asked to do, the five hats that I wear, are too much for this mortal." What did you think, Porter? The head of Central Intelligence spent the day sucking down cappucino and surfing the 'Net?

  • Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards file for divorce...and anyone is surprised. This is a man who spent a half-million bucks (that we know about) on Heidi Fleiss's hookers, and has his own designated parking space at the Playboy Mansion. Not exactly marital material.

  • The Republican Party is courting (in a manner of speaking) gay conservatives. There are gay conservatives?

  • The mayor of Las Vegas tells a fourth grade class that drinking is one of his hobbies, and that, if marooned on a desert island, the one thing he'd want with him is a bottle of gin. Whew — for a minute there, I was afraid he was going to promote gambling to the little tykes.

  • A New York Times/CBS News poll finds that "Americans say President Bush does not share the priorities of most of the country on either domestic or foreign issues, are increasingly resistant to his proposal to revamp Social Security and say they are uneasy with Mr. Bush's ability to make the right decisions about the retirement program." Color me shocked.

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