Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Introspection break

Call me a mindless dope with too much free time (yeah, right), but I always get a kick out of memes that take the form of personality analysis quizzes. This one I stumbled across today was kind of fun.

Are you more...

1. Uptown or downtown? Downtown. I like bright lights, neon, and nervous energy. It's why I dig Vegas so much.

2. Country or rock and roll? Rock and roll, of course. I share Buddy Rich's allergy. (For those whove never heard the story, the great jazz drummer Buddy Rich was once rushed to the emergency room after suffering a mild heart attack. As the admitting nurse was filling out his paperwork, she asked the patient, "Mr. Rich, do you have any allergies?" To which the legendary percussionist -- his wit undimmed by his medical circumstances, replied, "Yes. Country music.")

3. Extrovert or introvert? Introvert. Though it would surprise many who know me best as a dazzling public speaker, master of ceremonies, and extemporaneous presenter, I suffer from occasionally paralyzing bouts of social anxiety. It just happens not to affect me in front of a group -- only in one-on-one situations, in social groups (I'm the world's biggest wallflower at a party), or on the telephone.

4. Top or bottom? Top. I'm a control freak.

5. Timid or brazen? Timid. See #3 above. I'm risk-avoidance with a capital R.

6. Slow and drawn out or fast and furious? Slow and drawn out. I don't do anything fast, except maybe eat.

7. Pitcher or catcher? Pitcher. It's that control freak thing again. Plus I have bad knees and can't squat or kneel for any length of time without excruciating pain.

8. Lefty-loosey or righty-tighty? Righty. About all I can do with my left hand is type.

9. Into singin' in the rain or feelin' no pain? Definitely singing. I can't survive a day without it.

10. Prone to bark or meow? Bark. Sometimes I even mean it.

11. Spider-Man or Wolverine? Spider-Man. My hero since I was five. Wolverine, in my opinion, was one of two characters (the Punisher was the other) that helped ruin my enjoyment of Marvel Comics in the '80s.

12. Crazy genius or starving artist? Crazy. Genius. Wile E. Coyote, at your service.

13. Alpha or omega? Alpha. I'm a great starter, lousy finisher.

14. Good Time Charlie or the third little pig who built his house out of bricks? I'm afraid I'm the pig.

15. A cool cucumber or a hot pepper? Cool cucumber. In the immortal words of Ricky Jay in David Mamet's Heist, I'm so cool that when I go to sleep, sheep count me.

16. A bowler or a golfer? Bowler. The only golf I enjoy involves volcanoes and windmills. That, or Microsoft Golf, which is one of the few games (along with chess, blackjack, solitaire, and Elf Bowling) I keep on my computer.

17. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla. I'm not much for chocolate. Pass the cream soda.

18. Meat and potatoes or haute cuisine? Meat and potatoes. The portions are bigger.

19. Livin' large or laughin' easy? Both. Can't have one without the other.

20. Catch of the day or the house specialty? Catch of the day, if it's truly fresh and well prepared.

Incidentally, if you dig this sort of thing, The Memes List is an excellent place to lose yourself for a few hours.

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