We got your sports right here

Remember the good old days of ESPN? Back before the NFL and MLB contracts? Before the network was the most lucrative cash cow in the Disney broadcast/cable arsenal? Back in the Dark Ages when, to fill out their meager schedule in between the actual, heavy-duty sports events, ESPN regaled us with...

• Australian Rules Football?
• Curling?
• Bass fishing?
• Caber tossing?
• Hour after hour of nine-ball pool tournaments?

Those days are back on Fox Sports. Right now, even as I type, Fox is airing...

World Championship Darts.

The UK Open, to be precise. Fat, sweaty, pasty-faced English guys sticking little feathery, pointy things in a corkboard while legions of ardent, alcohol-fueled pub-crawling fanatics scream in the background. Brought to you by Budweiser.

Try to restrain your excitement.