Tuesday, August 31, 2004

A public service announcement

The management of this weblog would like to assure our readers that the principal writer and editor-in-chief of SwanShadow Thinks Out Loud will never — ever — appear in a nude photo layout (I was just about to type the word "spread," but I caught myself just in time) for Playboy Online or any other electronic publication.

Unlike Jessica Cutler, alias "The Washingtonienne," whose infamous blog chronicling her sexual exploits while toiling in the trenches as a staff aide for U.S. Senator Mike DeWine (R-Ohio, and don't you just know he's going tire quickly of the snickers and snide comments aimed in his general direction during the GOP convention this week?) has landed her the title of "Wild in Washington" on the Playboy.com Web site.

Our discretion and restraint in this regard is a circumstance for which you, your ophthalmologist, your psychiatrist, and your spiritual advisor should all be eternally grateful. Because we've seen me in the altogether. And it ain't pretty. It ain't even man-pretty.

FWIW: I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but in this beholder's humble opinion, Ms. Cutler isn't exactly all that and a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos either. Is it just me, or does she look like Björk, the singer from Iceland?

(For the record, Ms. Cutler's blog did not suggest that Senator DeWine was involved in any of her aforementioned exploits. She apparently just worked for the guy, and sweated up the sheets with half the men in the Beltway on her own free time.)

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