Friday, July 16, 2004

That's not a good thing.

Martha Stewart was sentenced today to five months in federal prison. She'll spend an additional five months under house arrest (I've seen pictures of Martha's place...it's not exactly Attica; I should be so cozily "confined") and pony up a $30,000 slap on the diamond-tennis-braceleted wrist.
 
I rejoice at no one's misfortune, and I suppose it's for the best that Martha got off with the lightest sentence the federal statute allows. She's not an ax murderer, just an inside trader (and yes, I know she skated on the insider trading charge) who lied to the authorities. I just hope this doesn't send a message to other fatcats that they can pull off their chicanery with a bare minimum of consequence.
 
I thought it was frightfully bold of Martha to stand on the courthouse steps, telling the world to rush out and subscribe to her magazine and stock up on Martha Stewart Living products. "Yes, I'm a convicted felon, but please keep fattening my wallet so that when I get out of the slammer, I can still party like it's 1999." Martha, Martha...you just got sentenced to five months in prison -- some cushy Club Fed prison, yes, but prison is prison -- how about showing a little contrition? A little shame? If I'm one of those good people of whom you spoke who works for that magazine or helps manufacture those products, you're the last person on earth whose endorsement I covet right this minute.

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